Escape Plan (2013)

Goodness, time flies, doesn’t it? One moment you are watching your favorite actor personalize an inhuman killing machine, and the next you are watching his slow downward spiral into petty humanizing anti-hero roles. Like any regular movie goer who understands the subtleties of cinema, this film was hard to watch.

This time Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvestor Stallone star as prison inmates in the world’s scariest secret prison super-boat; the objective, of course, is to escape (as opposed to lounge around and shank other prisoners). For Stallone’s character of Ray Breslin, however, the escape becomes personal as he is falsely set up and seeks out to wreck vengeance on the individual who framed him. You see, Ray is a master escape artist who sells his services to prisons, escapes from them, then offers advice on how to beef up their security, in exchange for a modest fee.  However, one day, as he accepts a job to escape from a shady private incarceration facility, things go terribly wrong and he is imprisoned against his will upon trying to “walk out” using his evacuation code.

As predictable, Ray forges alliances with other inmates in an attempt to secure a handy escape. Through much implausible scheming, he and Arnold fashion the devices and circumstance necessary to break out and destroy the boat. Honestly, it is as simple as 1,2,3! You can foresee the vast majority of the movie in advance: oh, what’s that, a morally ambiguous doctor who seems to have a conscience? I wonder if he will be an ally… and so forth.

In all it was far from a hideous movie- it just wasn’t that good. In any case it was certainly better than Mr. Terminator’s last film, the Lone Ranger (or whatever that hunk of crap was called)… ah, the Last Stand (that’s right). So this film is another classic example of far too many movies I, and I am sure you, have seen: you could do worse but why bother when you can do better?

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